1. “Hi or Hello”
Before
you roll your eyes at the simplest of phrases, hear me out. In my 15 years of
professional life, a simple “Hi” has proven to be the most powerful. How?
When you see someone, even someone you don’t know, acknowledge their
presence with a Hi. This simple act of acknowledging another person’s presence
is extremely powerful. I’ve seen people who avert their eyes or look down when
they do not know you. It definitely appears rude on the receiving end. Every time
you pass someone in the hallway, or in the break room, rest room, elevator,
parking deck… irrespective of the place, acknowledge them with a Hi or Hello or
Good morning.
2. “Thank you”
Another
simple but powerful phrase is a Thank You. No, a cursory thanking will not
cut it. The Thank You has to be heartfelt. Even simple gestures like someone
holding the elevator door or handing your mail, warrants a
heartfelt thank you. People feel happy to be of help to others. By thanking
them, you make them feel like they’ve been of service. This
instantly makes them like you.
3. “How are you?”
3
simple words that convey the message that you care. At times it may be a
conversation starter. At other times it may be an outlet for someone. I
remember a few years ago, when I asked this simple question to a co-worker, the
flood gates opened. She was going through a personal situation and did not have
anyone to share it with. She viewed the “How are you” as an invitation to share
and was able to open up. Sharing what she was going through gave her a huge
relief. Giving that opportunity is a sure-fire way to get
someone to like you more.
4. “I understand”
In
the incident with my co-worker, all I did was to listen and say “I understand”.
That’s all you need to do at times to help someone feel heard. Its not uncommon
for people to feel frustrated as they come out of a meeting. They may feel like
no one gets them or what they are trying to say or do. As they vent to you,
acknowledge their thoughts and actions with an “I understand”. On the receiving
end, your co-worker will feel a sense of relief to know someone else gets them.
5. “How can I help?”
Asking
someone how you can help lets people know that they are not alone, though that
doesn’t necessarily translate to carrying someone else load.
Still, asking opens the path to conversation. At times, all they may need is a
listening ear.
5. “I believe in you”
This
one is huge! People need someone to believe in them. Instead of
masking that belief in actions that may or may not come across, just say it. As
an example, a supervisor hands a piece of work and adds the words “I believe
you can do this.” The fact that their supervisor trusts them with that piece of
work is an ego boost for the individual.
7. “What I hear you saying are:”
Repeating
what you just heard proves that you were paying attention. In this age of short
attention spans, give someone your full attention and repeat the information
back to them to confirm it. More likable for sure.
8. “Well Done”
I
don’t understand why people find it difficult to say “Job Well done”. We dole
insane amounts of “good job” to kids, but find it difficult to do it to adults.
Personal rants aside, acknowledging someone for their effort
is encouraging and motivating. We don’t have to give out plaques or
other forms or rewards at all times. Saying “Job Well Done” at an
opportune time in front of the team is equal to or better than a plaque on the
wall that no one sees. In turn, it causes people to like you more as you see
their effort and their work.
9. “What do you think?”
A
powerful way to show respect. Encourage others to share what they
think and express their opinions. It causes them to feel included, feel
respected and that their opinion matters. The people I like the most at work
are the inclusive ones, the ones who show that they care enough
about others to include them.
10. “Absolutely”
When
you are given work, there are three ways to react to it. Not saying
anything and doing it; not saying anything to the person but griping about
it to others; and the third way is to respond with
“Absolutely!”. Showing enthusiasm when asked to do something causes an
instant delight. And boosts your likability index
11. “Great Question”
A
common problem at workplaces is people hesitating to ask questions. They are
afraid of getting shot down, laughed at or ignored. When someone is brave
enough to ask a question, respect and acknowledge that with a “Great
Question” comment. This will ease the nerves of the person asking the question
and encourage them to clarify their doubts. In a large setting, it
encourages others to open up as well. When you put someone at ease, it naturally causes
them to like you.
12. “Tell me more”
A
definite way of showing interest! Sometimes, it may be difficult to give
someone the time you need at work to listen. When you sense a time
consuming conversation, don’t cut off the person and walk away. Let them know
that you are short on time, but you want to hear more. Tell them that you
will reach out soon to find out more. And keep up the promise! Follow
up with the person and find out more. Giving people your time and
expressing interests again aids in increasing likeability.
